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Three Things I Wonder: Iowa Hawkeyes

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From where we stand, the Big Ten basketball season is still a long ways out. Miles out. But while the summer drudges on and August leans in for a long, drawn out kiss, we aren't standing by whistling Dixie. There are more pertinent questions to be asked of the heartland's favorite basketball programs. Today, we put the Iowa Hawkeyes on the stand.

Steven Branscombe-USA TODAY Sports

Earlier in the week I took a look at three pressing questions facing the Iowa Hawkeyes going into the 2015-16 season. While writing that piece, there were other questions, thoughts and moments of pure wonder that were a little more...off base. So my Iowa faithful, here are three pre-preseason hard hitting, face melting questions that I thought needed to be answered, full stop:

What player will be subject to the most Fran McCaffery Red Faced Freakouts (brought to you by Red Hot's and Mediacom)?

My dearest Iowa fan, I want you to think about this one really hard. I'm even going to give you a few seconds to mull it over...

Couple more...

Anddddd stop.. so who was the first person that popped into your head?

Was it Adam Woodbury?

Well I have some surprising news friends...it's not Woody. I know, I was shocked too. While I do think the big man will be the subject of his fair share of Fran McCaffery death stares and foot stomps, I think there is a kinship there. That or Fran knows that he needs Woodbury to be on top of his game night in and night out to be successful. So getting in his face like some pompous 16 year old at the YMCA would probably deter his only player taller than 6'9" from unleashing his inner beast mode.

Regardless, there is another primed candidate and he just so happens to play the same position as Devyn Marble once did (who remains the all-time leader in Fran Red Faced Freakouts). A player with an expansive role for the 2015-16 season. A player that has his own green light, even when the coaching staff wished it were more of a cautionary yellow.

Low and behold our winner, Peter Jok. It was a roller coaster of a season for the Iowa wing. One game he was dropping 14 points, six rebounds and three assists against #13 Iowa State and then scoring four points with no rebounds and one assist against Gonzaga. It's like he was playing Russian Roulette... only he would draw blanks way more often than he drew a bullet.

Look. Jok is important. He is probably one of the few players outside of Uthoff that can change the offense as we currently know it. But if he just so happens to be as inconsistent with the ensuing minutes jump that we anticipate he's going to get, Fran is going to lose it. And that's before talking about defense and conditioning; something that is always going to be somewhat of an on going issue, as Jok suffers from asthma and a passionate love for dorm food.

That's what's indubitably going to do him in. I can see it already. Home game at Carver-Hawkeye, last five minutes. Iowa up two. After a missed jump shot on the defensive end, Woodbury outlets the rock to Mike Gesell. Jok sprints to the opposite wing, gets the pass and nails a momentum shifting transition three. After doing some Iowa version of "Three-goggles" towards the crowd, the kid he was ought to pick up on the defensive end blows by him for quick dunk while getting fouled by Gesell.

Enter:

What Iowa player would win a Pop-a-shot contest?

The contenders:

  • Anthony Clemmons: 46.8 eFG%, 52.8 TS%, 75 FT%, 38.8 2P%, 37.3 3P%
  • Jarrod Uthoff: 50.4 eFG%, 52.9 TS%, 73.7% FT%, 46.8 2P%, 37.2 3P%
  • Mike Gesell: 44.1 eFG%, 47.2 TS%, 68.9 FT%, 45.5 2P%, 26.7 3P%
  • Adam Woodbury: 48.9 eFG%, 51.1 TS%, 57.6 FT%, 48.9 2P%, 0.00 3P%
  • Peter Jok: 43.5 eFG%, 47.5 TS%, 90.2 FT%, 37.0 2P%, 34.3 3P%

For the Classic version of Pop-a-Shot, you want somebody that has great touch, a quick release and can flush within eight to ten feet consistently. So, when looking at the list above, we'd have to eliminate Gesell and Jok right off the bat. They just lack the steadiness I want in my Pop-a-Shot champion. When looking at Woodbury, he has a long and laboring left handed shot and while it does go in from the desired areas, it's not the shot I'm looking for in this contest.

He gone.

Which leaves us with Anthony Clemmons going up against Uthoff. While Uthoff's perifs look slightly better than the back-up point guard, there is something preventing me from throwing a sandwich bet on the former Badger. And it's the same concern I had with Woodbury... Uthoff's jumper is kind of a slow set shot.

Oh, sure, it goes in more frequently than all of the other contenders and that's extremely important...but look at this:

Clemmons has been killing it! You don't just get to take those kind of step back jumpers when you have a slow release. For every shot Uthoff takes, Clemmons is getting off at least one more attempt. AT LEAST! And that's without mentioning that Clemmons seems to hit wide open long range shots at will. It's just an added bonus (if this video is to have even a shred of truth to it) that he's expanded his ability to knock down jumpers even with a hand in his face.

For that reason, I'm taking Clemmons in a nail biter, 66-63.

Is Adam Woodbury the son of The Waterboy's Captain Insano?

Run with me here. Captain Insano is played by WWE Superstar, The Big Show who is also known by his real name Paul Wight.

Paul Wight, aka The Big Show, aka Captain Insano is 7'0" tall.

Adam Woodbury is 7"1'.

Paul Wight, aka The Big Show, aka Captain Insano, played college basketball at Wichita State and Southern Illinois.

Adam Woodbury plays basketball at Iowa.

Paul Wight, aka The Big Show, aka Captain Insano is 43 years old.

Adam Woodbury is 21 years old...making Paul Wight, aka The Big Show, aka Captain Insano 22 years of age when Woodbury was born.

Paul Wight, aka Captain Insano's finishing move?

Adam Woodbury's finishing move?

Father or favorite wrestler? You be the judge. But if professional basketball doesn't work out for Woodbury, I think I just wrote him his own personal WWE storyline.

Adam Woodbury shows no mercy.